Thursday at the Speed of Lint

I just overheard the most awesome conversation. It went something like this:

Lady: So... you hold down the fort while I'm gone.
Latino Co-Worker: Eh?
Lady: Hold down the fort while I'm gone.
LCW: The fort?
Lady: Yeah. The fort. Hold down the fort.
LCW: What is the fort?
Lady: This is. This is the fort.
LCW: I should hold it down?
Lady: Yes. Watch the fort while I'm gone.
LCW: Watch the fort?
Lady: Yes! Watch the fort!
LCW: The fort?
Lady: Ugh! Yes. You... watch the fort ...while I'm gone. Hold it down. You're in charge.
LCW: Hold it down?
Lady: Yes! Hold it down! You are in charge until I get back. Make sure nothing happens.
LCW: To the fort.
Lady: THIS IS the fort!
LCW: (*shaking head*) Okay.
Lady: Okay?
LCW: Okay.

It's awesome to see a conversation go from baffling, to condescending, to  frustrating in a matter of seconds. Look Lady, she's not familiar with that colloquialism. Try something different. Making her sort through the double set of allegories is like watching someone try to climb a ladder to the moon. It's painful and stupid. Just stop and tell her she's in charge until you get back. Sheesh.

In other news, it is a spectacularly miserable October morning. I mean that. I love how downright grumpy it is outside. I believe the switch from Autumn to Winter ought to involve at least a few temper tantrum days. It's all windy and rainy and cold and the leaves are blowing off the trees in giant flumes like the mist left by the surf pounding the coastline. The sun is all weak and sad and thin and buried behind a thick, downy comforter of dark gray stormclouds.  Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I didn't even bring an umbrella today  in deference to whatever god is up there pouting. Bring it on you grouchy bastard! I love this shit!

The Boy is turning into a Hobbit, I'm afraid. He made me order him two breakfasts at the drive-thru this morning. One for now and one for later in case he needed "a little smackerel of something". He knows using Winnie-the-Pooh speak on me works every time. I feel so manipulated. He also told me he was getting ready for bed last night at the Speed of Lint. Because when you do your laundry,  the first thing you find in your pockets afterwards is lint. Lint is THAT fast! (He got this from The Tick and is therefore awesome.)


Anonymous said...

I think it's supposed to be like that here tomorrow!! -And I'm chaperoning (my first) field trip for the Wee Man, a romping through the forest. :D


Grey Street Girl said...

It's gross here too and I had my heart set on taking pictures this morning. I took a nap instead. Oh well.

I'm glad you're holding down the fort. :)

Kurt said...

@IC: The best line from that episode of "The Tick" was "Man! You guys are ugly with a capital 'Ugh'!"

Kurt said...

@GSG: There are very few atmospheric disturbances that can't be rectified with a good nap. Bully for you!

Sungodly said...

86 degrees and sunny in the Old Dominion (that's Virginia to you northerners). Fall doesn't really shake the cobwebs off around here until early November.

I dig second breakfast, or "elevenses." Your son rocks.

Kurt said...

@Sungodly: If all meals were breakfast, there would be world peace. True story.

Char said...

a smackerl huh? maybe that's what I will call the mid-morning extra caramel milky way